So, Yeah, This Is Happening ...

I do everything I can on these pages to prevent just this kind of thing. I feel like I've failed you all. I'm so sorry.

Here's the whole story (after the jump), told in in PRSpeak, which is like 1337speak, only 38% more disingenuous:

USAOPOLY (under license by Hasbro, Inc.) announces a partnership with Blizzard Entertainment, Inc. to release fresh takes on two classic board games. MONOPOLY®: World of Warcraft® and RISK®: StarCraft® combine tried-and-true foundations with new designs and gameplay elements inspired by Blizzard’s popular gaming universes. Those who dare to engage will discover a new chance to claim supremacy, both over their friends and over the battle-torn lands of Azeroth and the Koprulu Sector.

MONOPOLY®: World of Warcraft®
Descend into a world of myth, magic and legendary adventure to battle for control of World of Warcraft’s iconic locations. Featuring custom graphics from Blizzard Entertainment’s world-class artists and designers, the MONOPOLY game’s land grab includes coveted real estate such as Twilight Highlands, Grizzly Hills and the Swamp of Sorrows. In the rush to rule over the faction capitals of Orgrimmar and Stormwind, players will feverishly buy, sell and trade in true MONOPOLY fashion, until one player controls the lands and vanquishes all comers.

This handsomely crafted MONOPOLY game formally debuts at the 109th annual Toy Fair, this February 12th in New York City. World of Warcraft players, however, will be treated to a sneak peek via the World of Warcraft Facebook page and have the opportunity to vote on the game’s iconic tokens. Ten options, including Murky, Chen’s Keg, Mechagnome, and a Spellbook, will be presented; the six most popular tokens will be represented in the game when it launches this May.

Other notable highlights of the Monopoly game include custom sculpted houses (Warcraft towns) and hotels (Warcraft cities) plus a red and blue die representing the Horde and Alliance factions. There has never been a better time to engage face-to-face in World of Warcraft’s epic power struggle. The game retails for $39.95 and will be available in specialty stores across North America.

RISK®: StarCraft®
The forthcoming release of RISK®: StarCraft® should whet the appetites of StarCraft players who will once again find the StarCraft universe in jeopardy. Players will choose from the Terran, Protoss or Zerg factions and six unique heroes to ultimately bring order to the galaxy. The struggles portrayed in this real time strategy game series adapt perfectly to classic tabletop RISK gameplay, and the winner will be determined by astute deployment of military might and strategic field tactics.

RISK: StarCraft includes 3 play modes and sports over 290 custom playing pieces. More details about the game will be revealed as it moves toward release; it launches this summer and will be available in specialty stores throughout North America with a suggested retail price of $49.45.